I often ask myself if I have enough self-confidence or self-belief or faith, to take me through this hell of a journey called I-want-to-fulfill-at-least-one-small-bit-of-my-unambitious-and-average desires, because every time I decided to just do it, fear crept me out and ruined all of my motivation. Motivation I didn’t know how to get back (until recently.)
The thing is that I haven not been raised in a very supportive environment and I probably have a genetic predisposition to carrying-too-much-about-crappy-things (not as crappy tho). Besides that, I am a third culture kid. So it’s a constant fight of the living death between my contradictory beliefs that rule my world.
The scenario I often play in my head is as follows: