I spend a lot of time on my own. So there is hardly anyone around me I can argue with. But the other day, a friend of mine came. And so we went out for a drink and a little chit-chat.
We started talking. Just like the dudes do. I don’t know what really happened, but the third dude (we’ll call him Tim) who was with us, and also a friend of ours, somewhat jumped into the conversation me and Peter had. We paused for a second.
Then, Peter turned to Tim and asked him how was he and if he was planning to do something in the upcoming months.
They spoke for a little while, and I was listening. Tim said that he is planning to go to Spain, find a job, and probably stay there for the summer to enjoy the hot weather while making cocktails and probably hitting on women. You know… everything that the average dude in his twenties does.
I was hearing everything they were talking about, of course. After all, we were sitting on the same park bench. And all that was separating us was a foot away from my ass to Peter’s ass, and double the distance from my ass to Tim’s. Obviously, they were both sitting next to each other.
As soon as I heard Tim’s response, something inside of me clicked. I realized I’ve heard this before. And I don’t know why, but the tone of Tim’s voice and timber, the time, the place, and the whole layout of the story, all of them reminded me of the person from whom I’ve heard this all before. It was Tim.
He said that same thing last year. He was just repeating it again this year. And last year, he didn’t do anything about it. In fact, for about two years, maybe more, he’s been in a standstill period. Doing nothing and saying nothing. Or saying something, but never executing on it. That’s Tim.
They continued talking for a little more. And I let them finish. Then, in all my fanciness, and with all my grace, I turned around and spoke up with a palpable emotional prosody.
Guys, sorry to interrupt you… but, Tim. You said that same fucking thing last year. You didn’t do anything about it last year.
After which I paused and let them know that I am pre-empting by stating that what I am talking about is based on my personal observations. Hence, it’s my opinion and it’s bolstered with a great dose of truth, which I think is the truth for me, not them!
I did my best to make this clear from the get-go.
Then I continued…
You are saying it again. Besides that, you said that you are wondering. Only the word choice of your claim alone, tells me that you are insanely far from convinced that you gonna do it. Stop wondering and finally do it for gods sake.
They didn’t even take the time to think about my words yet they accused me of being intense, and maybe a little fuzzy. And Indeed, I was. I was. It’s called emotion.
Then, Peter replied to me as he said that the “Truth is a subjective thing”. So technically, he tried to deny all that I was saying using that simple word combination in the quotes above.
Then, I stopped for a second to think about it… I was hesitating whether to continue with my argument or not.
Seconds after that, I realized that these motherfuckers tried to justify laziness. Not just that, but they were rationalizing laziness with a set of lies and half-truths. Come on, really? You gonna do that in-front-of meh?
I am talking about a particular situation and I also said that I am pre-empting. In that case, stating that truth is a subjective thing, was unnecessary.
Of course, you can still do whatever the hell you want in your life. But that does not stop me from expressing my own opinions and views on a subject If I am willing to, even if it’s your mom shagging your dog. You’ve shared it publicly, expect opinions. Wanted or unwanted.
I then went to explain I had already pre-empted. So what he said about truth and its subjectiveness was totally irrelevant. That was not the point of the conversation. At all.
Apparently, they weren’t even willing to say they didn’t know what that meant, and appear as ignorant. So I assume they’ve just decided to completely ignore it.
According to the dictionary, to pre-empt means: To say or do something before someone so that you make their actions or words unnecessary or not effective.
Case in point: I defended myself and I persevered through the conversation, although I faced some objections.
Ultimately, I managed to withstand their verbal attack. I shut up last.
The next day, Tim shared with me that, although he didn’t show it that night when we were together, what I’ve said really moved him.
It made him realize that he was, in fact, lying to himself most of the time. And that made him build further beliefs on that foundation. He said he had fallen too far off the path.
Maybe my words kind of were his wake up call.
And that was because I stood up for myself and had the courage to speak my mind about what I thought there and then, even though, I hesitated.
That helped me build my confidence and courage. And apparently, it helped a friend realize a thing or two about himself. Hopefully, do something about his life, too.